


Butterfly

by supergayheros



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Blow Jobs, Canon Trans Character, Getting Together, Hand Jobs, M/M, Trans Male Character, mentions of past verbally abusive ex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-26 02:49:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20922941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supergayheros/pseuds/supergayheros
Summary: David's smile is all white teeth and pink gums and squinting eyes. It's a beautiful sight. Makes Matteo a little breathless. And he feels ridiculous for being breathless. Because they just met not ten minutes ago, and at a house party no less. He was just lamenting to himself about annoying couples, about stupid love. And, to be clear, that is not what this is. Matteo does not believe in love at first sight. But he might believe in infatuation at first sight. David's making a pretty good case for it, whether he realizes it or not.Or; A story of getting together and letting yourself be happy again. With a sprinkle of angst, a whole lot of feels, and just a bit of smut.





	Butterfly

Matteo really wishes he was at home. He kind of always wishes he was at home, but still. 

He’s at the house party of someone he doesn't even really know, dragged here by Jonas. It’s hot and cramped and loud and he’s far too sober to be interacting with anyone right now. And Jonas isn’t even around, having fucked off somewhere to suck faces with Hanna almost as soon as they arrived. Not that Matteo can blame him too much. What with the powers of young love and all. 

With a put upon sigh Matteo takes another big gulp of his rapidly warming beer. His whole body sags against the wall with the force of his dispondance. Matteo watches with a slight grimace as Carlos dances closely with Kiki, whispering something in her ear while she giggles. They're practically married already. It’s not the sight of them together specifically that has him frowning. It’s just...couples in general. Makes the taste of the beer in his mouth turn sour. 

Abdi is standing with him. Another single relegated to the edges of the party. Not that Matteo would even call his friend single anymore. Not really. What with the friends with benefits situation he has going with Sam that has slowly been sliding into relationship territory for the last couple of months. Matteo watches Abdi watch Sam on the dance floor. She laughs and spins Amira around and Abdi just about melts into the floor. Matteo scoffs. God, people in love really are the absolute worst.

Looking down, Matteo holds his beer in one hand and picks at the black nail polish on his fingernails with the other. The paint job is courtesy of Hanna, from their squad hang out a few days ago. He hadn’t really felt the need to take acetone to it right away. And he knows Jonas’ are still a bright fuchsia pink. But Matteo's feeling an uncomfortable mixture of boredom and anxiousness. So he picks, watching the black polish come away in flakes. He’s almost got his thumb completely uncovered when Abdi elbows Matteo hard, jostling his cup and getting sticky beer everywhere. 

“Dude what the fuck?” Matteo curses, shaking out his wet hand to no avail. He could find a bathroom, wash them properly. Instead he opts for rubbing the mess into Abdi’s shirt sleeve. It serves the bastard right.

Abdi doesn't even react, just goes to elbow him again. Luckily, Matteo dodges out of the way this time, having seen it coming. Matteo's about to kick him in the shin in retaliation when Abdi opens his mouth.

“Man that guy is totally checking you out! Oh my god!” Abdi whisper-shouts, failing spectacularly at being inconspicuous. Matteo follows his line of vision across the room. His eyes bounce from stranger to stranger till their eyes meet. His whole body freezes over.

They're brown, the boys eyes. A rich brown. And framed by insanely long lashes. Matteo can tell, even from this distance. His skin is a beautifully warm brown tone as well. Cheeks pinked and rosey. And his hair, dark and thick and messy in an infuriatingly artful way. Matteo's hand itches to touch it, to trace the planes of his face. Everything about the boy looks strong; his eyebrows, his jawline, his unbreaking stare. And Matteo is sure that under his layers of clothes, his body would look strong too. 

That thought thaws Matteo, embarrassment coursing through his veins like molten lava. He can feel his cheeks heat, and drops his eyes in mortification. 

"He could be checking you out for all we know." Matteo mumbles. Lies. Their eyes met, held. The stranger didn't pay any mind to Abdi, to anyone else at all in fact, in that moment. It had been their moment.

"Shut up, no he wasn't. Not that i'm not a total catch. But he's looking at you. He's still looking at you." Abdi's voice is giddy and too loud. Matteo wants to shush him out of fear. Even though he knows it's impossible for the gorgeous boy to hear what's being said from all the way across the room. Not over the music at least.

Matteo fights the instinct to peek again, to check to see if what Abdi's saying is true, If he's still looking. Matteo brings his fingernail to his mouth and chews, nailpolish be damned. 

"You have to go over there!" Abdi shouts, not even pretending to try and be quiet anymore. Matteo's eyes spring to his friend. He levels Abdi with a firm glare, eyebrows furrowed. 

Matteo wants to tell him he's crazy. He wants to tell him to fuck off. To tell him that he and all his other friends are far too invested in Matteo's love life. But Abdi looks so happy. And so supportive. It would be like kicking a puppy. So instead of lashing out he decides to just be painfully honest.

"I can't do that." Matteo's voice is so resigned. It's not a refusal of the idea out of spite. It's an acceptance that he really couldn't put himself out there like that. Not now.

Abdi's face crumbles. And Matteo knows immediately that honesty was a mistake. Being cruel probably wouldn't even have made him look this crestfallen. The look on Abdi's face makes Matteo's stomach turn. The pity in the look, it's palpable. Matteo could choke on it. And he doesn't want anyone's pity.

"Matteo…" Abdi half whispers, trailing off. A million words go unsaid. 'Matteo it's been months. Matteo you need to get over it. Matteo are you sure your ok? Matteo what really happened? Matteo. Matteo? Matteo!'. 

Taking a sharp breath in through his nose, he steals himself. 

"Fine," Matteo grunts. He's decided. Forcing himself to go over and talk to a stranger is easier than dealing with his friends sympathy. If only by a little bit.

Without another word, he pushes past groups of people to make it to the other side of the living room, across the makeshift dance floor. He keeps his head bowed low. Can't look up, not yet. When he makes it over to the other side he finally peeks up through his lashes. 

The stranger is standing just a few feet to his right, looking straight ahead and sipping from a red solo cup. When he lowers the drink Matteo can see a small private smirk playing on the edges of his lips. From this close he can make out the glint of a septum ring. And his eyelashes look even more insane up close, long and thick and dark. They fan his sharp cheekbones when he blinks. Everything about him looks even more stunning up close, if that's even possible. Matteo swallows, mouth going bone dry.

Matteo takes a small sip of what's left of his beer and then shuffles over a little closer. Close enough to reach out and touch. The beautiful stranger finally gives up all pretenses of aloofness and turns to face Matteo head on, grin widening slightly. Matteo clears his throat. He can feel his palms grow slick with sweat.

"Um, hey," Matteo mutters lowly. Brown eyes track the movement of his mouth, watch the syllables take shape. Matteo knows he's blushing something fierce, from the roots of his hair and straight down his neck. He hopes that the heat in the cramped room can pass for a feasible excuse. 

"Na?" Answers the boy with a quirk of his eyebrow. His voice is like sunshine. Bright and warm and musical. 

"Matteo. Florenzi." Matteo introduces himself, sticking out his hand. He immediately regrets it. Who shakes hands anymore? And why did he have to use his full name? This isn't a job interview. God. He used to be better at this. He used to have game.

"David Schreibner," The stranger, _ David, _supplies and grips Matteo's hand without question. His handshake is firm, hands warm and slightly calloused. It fits in Matteo's like it was always meant too. Like they were molded for one another. It's a stupid thought, a crazy thought, but it burrows into his brain. Makes a space to live there, right next to the memory of David's voice. Permanently engraved.

David doesn't let go right away. Instead he pulls Matteo's hand closer to his face, inspects it. Matteo holds his breath.

"I dig your nails." David says, voice genuine, before finally dropping Matteo's hand. It hangs limp by his side, already missing the brief contact. Matteo flushes even further at the words. But it's a pleasant blush this time, out of happiness rather than embarrassment.

"Yeah?" Matteo asks, voice a little bashful. Just a little. Complements always render him useless. Especially if they're coming from a handsome boy.

"Yeah, looks badass." And now they're both grinning widely at each other, and it feels like everything around them turns to static. All the people, the music, the uncomfortable heat- it doesn't disappear like in the movies. But it turns fuzzy, unimportant. David is left in sharp focus.

"Thats me. Total badass." Matteo agrees sarcastically.

"So, Matteo, how do you know the host?" David asks, resting his shoulder against the wall and looking effortlessly cool while doing it. Their whole bodies are facing each other head on now, both leaning in slightly. Matteo mirrors David's stance, though he knows he doesn't look even a fraction as suave doing it.

"To be honest? I met Sofia like, once. She's in a class with my friend. I'm just here because I like free alcohol." Matteo answers, lifting his cup slightly. David laughs and Matteo honest to God swoons. The sound is like windchimes. Matteo didn't know it was possible to fall in love with someone's laugh, but here he is, doing just that.

"Oh good, because I didn't even know her name. Hence why I called her 'the host'. I'm just here for my sister." Chuckles David, before pausing and lifting his own cup. "And for the free falcohol too, of course."

David's smile is all white teeth and pink gums and squinting eyes. It's a beautiful sight. Makes Matteo a little breathless. And he feels ridiculous for being breathless. Because they just met not ten minutes ago, and at a house party no less. He was just lamenting to himself about annoying couples, about stupid love. And, to be clear, that is not what this is. Matteo does not believe in love at first sight. But he might believe in infatuation at first sight. David's making a pretty good case for it, whether he realizes it or not.

"Of course," Matteo parrots back with a grin. "So what do you normally get up too, other than crashing parties for your sister and free booze? Or is that just about the gamut?"

"If I told you I'd have to kill you." David says, voice grave and face smoothing out into a look of complete seriousness. The two stare at each other for a moment, unblinking, till David cracks. They both chuckle at the bad joke, Matteo shaking his head in mock exasperation. 

"So a 007 situation?" Matteo asks. David leans in conspiratorially before whispering.

"Think more Buffy the Vampire Slayer," He says with a wink. Neither of them can stop grinning, and their heads are bowed together. Practically breathing in each other's air.

"Oh, the chosen one, of course." Matteo says, nodding sagely. But David tutts and shakes his head.

"No I'm definitely the Vampire in this equation." Clarifies David. Matteo can see that. He's got this air of mystery about him. And the dark clothes.

"But now that you've told me, you're gonna have to kill me," Matteo jokes. David makes a show of considering it, going as far as putting his hand under his chin in a serious thinking pose. He drops his hand and a soft smile graces his lips.

"No. I think I'll let you live. It would be such a shame." His voice is warm. And it should be silly, is silly, but the worlds make Matteo feel warm too.

Matteo's about to answer with something witty when a shadow falls over the two boys. More of a figurative shadow than a real one, but still. Matteo's not sure how he didn't notice the approach beforehand. Must have been too caught up in the bright bubble that descended over him while flirting with a cute boy. But the bubble is popped as soon as Matteo looks up and sees who is standing in front of him. His whole body goes cold, and his breathing halts, like ice water being poured straight into his lungs. He can feel his posture change, going stiff and curling in on himself.

Felix looks exactly the same as he did two months ago. Still tall and broad shouldered. Hair still blond and buzzed short. Eyes still piercing and gray. Smile that's still too sharp. And he still has an air of arrogance that wafts from him, seeping out of every pour. 

Matteo's not sure how he ever found any of it attractive.

"Matteo! Long time no see," Felix's voice is candy coated, sickening. He steps even closer, hand going to Matteo's arm. Gripping it once, hard, before letting go again. He doesn't step back. Matteo's skin crawls.

Matteo's mouth opens, and then closes again. His eyes dart away. Abdi is dancing with Sam. Amira's now being spun around and around by Mohammed. None of them have noticed yet, of course. He knows his friends would already be by his side if they had. They don't know the whole story, not like Jonos does, but they know enough to hate Felix almost as much. 

"Uh, hi. Nice to meet you, I'm David." David's words are unsure. His eyes dart from Matteo to Felix and back again. Felix doesn't even spare him a glance. Matteo still can't make any words come out. Can't move at all, even though all he wants is to be a million miles away.

"David. Mm, interesting." Felix says, finally moving his eyes from Matteo's. His eyes rake up and down David, assessing. "And how do you know our dear Matteo?" 

"We just met actually." David answers. His brows furrow and he stands up straighter. He must be able to tell that something is off about the whole situation. Matteo feels like he's outside his own body, watching it all happen, unable to do anything. Vaguely it occurs to him that he might be having a panic attack, but the thought feels very far away.

"Oh is that so. You see Matteo and I used to date." Felix's voice is so fake bright. Like it was nothing, like they parted on good terms. The words make bile rise in Matteo's throat. He just wants the world to stop spinning for a second, for everything to just stop. But Felix keeps going. 

"So I know how tempting he can be." Felix tisks, shakes his head. And his eyes are back on Matteo, and there's nothing but cold hard hate behind the gray.

"Excuse me?" David asks, sounding uncomfortable. Matteo can feel his brown eyes on him now, searching. But he's trapped, unable to pull away from Felix's. Unable to do anything. He's on the verge of hyperventilating. 

"Yeah, he's a pretty good fuck. But not good for much else. Just a friendly warning." Felix laughs mockingly.

"Dude what the _ fuck _." David shouts, horrified, and it breaks Matteo out of his frozen panic. He pushes past Felix violently and takes off for the door. 

Matteo can feel his eyes sting with unshed tears. He wants to scream or cry or hit something or do all three. But instead he just pushes past everyone, desperate to get outside. When he makes it out the door, out into the cold night air, he takes in a ragged breath. It burns. His hands go to his knees, head down and body curling in on itself. He's shaking like a dog and just trying to focus on getting oxygen to his brain. 

The door swings open and then closed again behind him. He hears footsteps. He can't look up to see who it is.

"Matteo…" It's David, voice barely a whisper. Matteo looks up through his messy hair. David's hand is outstretched, like he wants to provide comfort, but it drops as soon as their eyes meet. 

"I'm fine," Matteo lies. His voice is strained, like it can hardly escape his chest. 

"You don't have to be fine." David says. "What he said was awful."

"Yeah, well," Matteo doesn't know what else to say. Doesn't know if there's anything to say. He straightens up, finally feeling like he can breathe again, like he won't rattle right out of his skin. He shakes his still clouded head to try and dispel some of the fog. All of a sudden he's exhausted.

"I'm gonna head home." Matteo sighs. He's never felt more awkward. The fact that this man came to see how he was doing, without knowing him at all, and after witnessing what happened. He doesn't know what to do with any of that kindness. 

"Alone?" David asks, face screwed up in concern. Matteo hears the words that don't come out, 'in this state?'.

"I'll be ok, really. Thank you though." Matteo isn't sure if its a lie or not. He's no longer in the middle of a panic attack, but he still feels like utter shit. Still a little detached from himself. And he'll have to walk back home. No busses at this hour. But maybe walking will help him to calm down some more. He gives David a weak smile and turns to go.

"Wait!" David calls, and Matteo stops. "What about your friends?"

Matteo sighs, because yeah, ok. He should tell them he's headed off, let them know he's ok. But he can't go back into that apartment. He fishes his cell out of his jeans pocket and sends a quick text into the group chat, that he's leaving, that he's ok. He sends Jonas a private message straight after to tell him he'll explain everything later. Because he knows Jonas will worry. Then he silences and pockets the device again. He'll deal with it when he gets home.

"All good." Matteo reassures, but David still looks unconvinced. It doesn't make any sense, why he cares so much. He must just be a really good person, Matteo suspects. He throws out a vague two fingered salute, and makes to set off, but again David stops him. 

"Can I. I mean, i'm not trying to be weird but. Could I walk you home? It's more for me than it is for you, I promise. It would make me feel a lot better." David looks a little shy at his own words, but also determined. He's like a real knight in shining armor, stepping right out of a story book. Utterly ridiculous. 

Matteo looks at him for a second, because yeah, it is a little weird. But it's also very sweet. Tratoriously, his thoughts immediately turn to what Felix said. _ Only good for a fuck. _ And Matteo is a little worried for a split second that that's why David offered. That he just wants to get Matteo home and then into his pants. And _ yes, _he's crazy attractive, but Matteo also just had a breakdown. It's not something he's really up for at the moment. The thought alone makes him a little queasy.

But the thought is gone again just as soon as it entered. David's face, so open and honest and worried. It's clear that's not what this is about. He's just genuinely concerned. Not everyone is as bad as Felix after all. Matteo finally nods slowly.

"Yeah. Yeah alright." He answers, and David's face breaks into a relieved grin.

They start walking in the direction of Matteo's flat share. It's not too far away, maybe 25 minutes or so by foot. They're quiet for a while, shoulders brushing as they walk. It's a comfortable silence. Matteo can feel the pit in his stomach slowly unknot with every step he takes. And it's nice, all things considered, to not be so alone in this moment.

"So. How's that for a first impression huh?" Matteo breaks the silence with a dry laugh, trying to make light of the situation as best he can. Matteo turns his head to watch David. He's got his hands in his pockets, looking down at the pavement as he walks. At Matteo's words he looks up, eyebrows raised.

"Well your first impression was lovely. Can't say the same for him though." David says and Matteo is taken aback by the complement. He's not sure if he would use the word 'lovely' after that freak out. 

"Yeah he's...something alright. We dated for a while. Things weren't great, and it ended even worse, as you could probably tell. But that was a while ago, a few months. I haven't seen him since until - well until tonight." Matteo doesn't know why he's admitting all this to a relative stranger. He never talks this much. It just spills out of him. Maybe an after effect of the panic. The words can't hurt though, not with all that David has already seen.

"It's his loss. You deserve better than that." David's voice is firm, final. Like he's so sure that what he's saying is the truth. Matteo shakes his head.

"How do you know? I could be a terrible person. You don't even know me." Matteo points out, kicking at a loose pebble on the ground as he walks.

"I suppose you've got a point." Says David. "But I think I'm a pretty good judge of character."

The conversation goes quiet again and soon they're approaching the apartment. They slow to a stop in front of the entrance. Matteo turns to look at David, fiddling with the sleeves of this sweater.

"Well this is me." Matteo says, unsure of himself. "Thank you for walking me home, it was, uh..."

Sweet? Unexpected? Matteo's not sure what to call it.

"Just, yeah, thanks." He finally settles on, eyes darting to his shoelaces and then back to David. Matteo is so tired, he can hear his bed calling to him from here. But he also doesn't know how to leave, or even if he particularly wants to. It's a strange feeling. Like a magnetic pull deep in his gut.

"Of course." David says with a shy smile. He rocks back and forth on his heels before stilling. His face goes all determined again. It's a good look. 

"So you we're right, I don't know you. But for whatever reason I want to. So I was wondering, if you'd like to get coffee or something sometime? It can be completely platonic, if that's what you want. Sorry I just. I had to ask, because if I left and never saw you again I know I'd regret it." David pauses after his small speech to breathe out. Matteo is stunned.

David looks a little nervous. Scratching the side of his nose and eyes moving around like he's not sure where to look. It's incredibly endearing, that this is the same cool and mysterious self proclaimed vampire. It makes something warm bloom in Matteo's chest.

Matteo looks at him for a moment, thinking. It was just a little while ago that Matteo was telling Abdi he couldn't even talk to a boy. He wasn't sure if he was ready to put himself out there again. And after seeing Felix he feels even less sure. But David. Sweet David who walks boys home after panic attacks. Who says he wants to know Matteo. And who for some reason, Matteo wants to know too. 

"Give me your phone." Matteo finally decides, sticking his hand out. He watches a smile slowly grow across David's face before he reaches into his pocket and produces the phone. 

Matteo punches in his number into Davids contacts before sending himself a string of random emojis, so he'll have David's number himself. When he hands it back their fingers brush, the touch lingering. They're both smiling at each other again. 

They say their goodbyes and Matteo climbs up the steps into the flat. Hans is either still out partying or asleep, and Linn is nowhere to be seen either. Matteo breathes a little sigh of relief for not having to speak to anyone else tonight. He's far too tired for it. But when he finally collapses into bed, a smile tugs at his lips again. He's still not making any promises. But Matteo thinks he might be willing to give himself the chance to try with David. And for now that's enough.

* * *

Matteo wakes up late in the afternoon. It’s gradual, the far off sensation of being hungry slowly bringing him out of slumber. He groans, and rolls onto his side, blinking at the wall. The memories of last night are less gradual. More like a wave that crashes over him all at once. Matteo reaches for his phone on his bedside table, the brightness of the screen jarring for a moment.

He has a text from Jonas, just a simple _ ‘everything ok dude?’ _. Matteo sends back a message explaining what happened, but leaves out any mention of David. He says that he's fine, but he saw Felix last night and had to leave. He reiterates in a second text that he's really ok, because he knows how protective Jonas can be. 

Matteo props himself up on his mound of pillows and scrolls to the next conversation. It's one from an unknown number. A string of random emojis, and right under it, a new text. _ 'Hope your doing alright' _ it says, and timestamped not even a minute later _ 'this is David by the way' _. Matteo stares at the words for a while, thumbs hovering over the keyboard. He sighs and adds the number to his contacts before putting his phone down again, deciding to deal with it later. Not that David is something to deal with in the negative sense of the word. But it's something too big to tackle this soon after waking up. Especially because Matteo is still unsure of himself.

After eating and getting dressed Matteo calls his therapist Lisa. They set up a sort of emergency appointment for the next day. Matteo thanks her for finding time to squeeze him in so last minute and grabs his things. He looks at his phone one last time, at David's text, before letting out a long breath. He’ll see Lisa first, he decides. He has to talk some things out before contacting David. Hopefully he won't mind the wait too much. Pocketing the phone once again, Matteo calls out his goodbyes to his flat mates and heads out the door. 

Matteo works at a small sandwich shop not far from his apartment, just a quick bus ride away. The pay isn't much, but it's something. And the regular deposits from his dad definitely help when it comes to rent. Even though Matteo knows the money is still coming out of guilt, he's not going to turn it down. Sandwich money only gets you so far.

The little bell over the door dings as he enters. The morning shifters smile at him brightly, happy to be released from their duties. 

He's working with Emily today, a petite redhead who swears like a sailor. She's cool. What's even cooler is she always lets Matteo take over the sandwich making while she mans the cash register. Everyone knows Matteo is shit at customer service. So throughout his shift he slaps meat onto bread and jokes with Emily and tries not to think too hard about anything that happened the night prior. 

The next morning Matteo takes the bus to Lisas office. It's a squat building painted a faded yellow, and inside always smells like mint. He gives his name to the receptionist before falling into the cracked leather sofa to wait. While he waits Matteo plays with the zipper of his jacket, the metallic sound of it going across the teeth over and over again soothing in a way. Soon Lisa is walking down the hall, saying goodbye to one of her other clients, and motioning for Matteo to follow her back to her office. 

Lisa is an older woman, with short gray hair and thick round glasses. Her office is homey. With pictures framed on the walls and a small loveseat covered with pillows. Matteo plops down and pulls his favorite pillow into his lap. It's a soft blue and an even softer texture. He runs the palm of his hand over it, back and forth, back and forth. Lisa smiles at him as she takes a seat behind her desk.

"So Matteo, what brings you in to see me today?" She asks kindly.

Matteo sighs and sinks further down in the seat. He explains what happened two nights before, with Felix. It takes a while to get through it all. Lisa just nods and asks questions to prompt Matteo to continue. She's good at that. Helping Matteo to talk. Because as good as therapy is for him, he's still not great with his words. When the conversation reaches the topic of David and his proffered meeting for coffee, Matteo pauses, puffing up his cheeks with air before letting it out slowly.

"Do you want to see this David again?" Lisa asks.

"Yes." Matteo answers. He doesn't have to think twice about it. It's a little embarrassing, but Lisa just continues to smile.

"I'm sensing a 'but' here." She says. Matteo looks back down at the pillow in his hand.

"But…" Matteo trails off before starting again. "But I don't know if im ready. After Felix. And that feels stupid. Because it was a while ago. But I'm still scared. To put myself in that position again."

"It's not stupid. Your feelings are not stupid." Lisa says. Its something she's had to tell him quite a few times in the past. Matteo nods to show that he heard her, but he's still trying to really believe that. She continues, satisfied by his acknowledgment.

"You might not ever feel one hundred percent ready. No one ever is when it comes to new relationships, whether they be friendships or something more. The important part is to let yourself feel those feelings, while not letting them make you closed off to every new experience. It's ok to be scared. But you don't have to let that fear stop you from making connections with people. It is up to you Matteo, but if you want to see this boy again, I'd say it's worth it to try."

Matteo mulls that over for a moment, and Lisa lets him. They sit in silence until Matteo breaks it with a soft smack on the pillow with the palm of his hand.

"Ok." He says with a sharp nod. They finish up their session talking about a few other things, work, his friends. And when their time comes to a close, she walks him out to the reception area. They say their goodbyes and Matteo steps out into the chilly air. He pulls his phone out, right there on the stoop so he can't lose his nerve. He opens his conversation with David and sends a text before he can talk himself out of it again.

_ 'Sorry it took me so long to reply. I'm alright. Is the offer for coffee still on the table?' _

He's about to pocket the phone again, but the reply is pretty instantaneous. A smile creeps across his face as he reads the words.

_ 'Of course. Name a time and place.' _

The two decide on meeting the upcoming Saturday, finding free time in between work and classes and other social obligations to squeeze in coffee. They spend some of that week sending each other random texts and memes. The memes are mostly one sided, by Matteo of course, but David seems to appreciate them all the same. And maybe it should be strange, texting little snippets about his day at work or his annoying friends to someone he hardly knows, but it isn't. Every time his phone chimes a smile is instantly brought to his lips. 

One of the more memorable messages Matteo receives comes late at night on Thursday. He, Hans, and Linn are all sat around the tv watching something on Netflix. It's Hans' turn to pick that night and Matteo is only half paying attention to the zany dramedy when his phone buzzes. Taping the notification, Matteo has to bite his lip to keep a stupid grin from taking up residence on his face. It's a photo of David, pouting and holding up an empty take out container. Under it reads _ 'Laura ate all my leftover chinese. Im disowning her' _.

Matteo maybe spends too much time zooming in on David's adorable face and trying not to melt right into the couch. It's a little worrying to be honest. 

What's even more worrying is the borderline freak out Matteo experiences 30 minutes before he's supposed to leave to meet David for coffee. Half his wardrobe is dumped onto his bed and floor, and he's pacing. 

"Hans!" Matteo finally shouts, feeling desperate enough to enlist some help. 

"Yes butterfly?" Hans inquires not a minute later, poking his head into Matteo's room. He doesn't even seem fazed by the mess. Which is fair, it's not like Matteo's room is normally clean per say. 

"I need your help. With what to wear." Matteo mumbles around the thumbnail that he's been chewing to the quick.

"Oh?" Hans hums, stepping further into the room, eyebrows raised. "What's the occasion?"

"Coffee…" Matteo hedges. Hans' face goes from confused to delighted in 15 seconds flat.

"You have a date don't you!" He shouts with a clap, absolutely beaming. Matteo shushes him instantly, and scowls.

"I don't know. Maybe." Matteo says and Hans' face is back to confused again.

"Maybe? Why maybe?" Hans parrots

"Well he said it could be a date. If I wanted. But it could also be platonic, if that's what I was comfortable with. We never really got around to deciding which it would be." Matteo answers with a shrug. He pushes his hair back in frustration, eyes going back to examine his clothing options. 

"Aw thats so sweet." Hans gushes, face going all soft and mooney eyed. He pauses, frowns again "And confusing."

Matteo just snorts. He picks up a shirt, puts it down, repeats the action with a pair of jeans. He doesn't even have all that many items of clothing. It should not be this challenging. 

"Well do you want it to be a date?" Hans asks. Matteo's eyes flick from Hans to his bed again. He shuffles a little.

"I don't know." He says, and then immediately. "Yes."

Hans claps again, and Matteo bats at his hands. 

"You can't tell anyone yet though. It'll make it too real if people know." Matteo says. And maybe it's stupid. Maybe he should have told Jonas. But he's afraid of jinxing it. Afraid of getting their hopes up for nothing.

"Oh and I'm not people?" Hans asks, voice mock offended. Matteo rolls his eyes.

"You know what I mean. Now are you gonna help me or what?"

Matteo ends up in his one pair of proper fitting jeans, plain white shirt, his well worn converse, and tan jacket with the sleeves rolled up a bit to show the pattern on the inside. He catches a bus but hops off one stop too early, needing to walk off some of his nervous energy. When Matteo makes it to the coffee shop, David is already there. He's sitting on a bench right out front, hunched over his phone. He doesn't notice Matteo approach right away. And Matteo knows a perfect opportunity when he sees one. 

Matteo creeps over, and when he's close enough, shakes David's shoulder lightly while shouting 'Boo!'. David looks up, startled and confused for a second, before breaking out in a grin. The two giggle like children at Matteo's antics while David pushes to his feet.

"You weren't waiting long?" Matteo asks. Maybe he shouldn't have walked that last block. 

"No, no I just got here." He reassures. David pockets his phone and steps towards the glass door. 

"Shall we?" David asks with a smile and a raised eyebrow, pulling the door open for Matteo. Matteo does a silly little bow and steps through. He should probably be embarrassed, but he's too giddy for that. After a week of texting most of the apprehension has melted away to make room for excitement. He wants to get back to that easy banter they had at the party, before the whole Felix disaster. David seems to find his playfulness endearing anyway, eyes crinkled with the force of his smile.

Behind the counter is a tired looking highschool student who takes their order. Black with three sugars for Matteo, and a complicated mocha monstrosity for David. They make a last minute decision to split a chocolate croissant right before their order is rung up. Matteo goes to take out his wallet but David grabs his wrist. Matteo stills.

"I'm the one who suggested coffee so I'm the one whos gonna pay." David says, releasing Matteo to produce a few bills. Matteo's brain catches up too slowly to protest, his mouth open but no words coming out. The casual touch, the generosity, it makes him a little flustered. As ridiculous as that is.

"Um, thanks." Matteo says dumbly. 

They end up at a small table near the back of the shop. The place is fairly quiet. The only other patron being a hipster near the windows whos got his headphones on and is seemingly very engrossed in whatever he's typing up on his laptop. They get comfortable and Matteo takes a gulp of his coffee, burning the roof of his mouth. He doesn't mind too much. The slight pain gives himself something to focus on, brain already a jumbled mess from merely being in David's presence.

"You look good today." David says all of a sudden. He rips off a piece of croissant and pops it into his mouth. Matteo flushes beet red and stutters a little bit. 

"Oh, uh. You do too." Matteo mutters, looking down at the table. Tracing the pattern of the wood grain with his eyes. Its true, David looks amazing in his soft gray sweater, beanie pulled down over his ears. Looks perfect for cuddling. Matteo feels the flush grow, crawling across his face and down his throat. He wishes he wasn't so goddamn pale, or that the lights in the coffee shop were dimmer. Anything to disguise the splotches of red.

When Matteo raises his eyes again David is smiling. His smile looks just as soft as his sweater.

"No nailpolish this time though." David says, pointing to Matteo's hand that's still wrapped around the insulated cup. Matteo splays his hands out onto the table and wiggles his fingers a bit. He had spent last night binging netflix and absentmindedly picking away the pollish to keep his mind off the maybe-date. Not a spec of it remained on his nails, but he was sure some of the black dust still littered the couch back home.

"Yeah that was more of a humoring my friends thing than a personal choice. Looked cool but I bite my nails and it tastes like shit. So we'll see if I ever do it again." Matteo explains with a shrug. In high school Matteo would have been vehemently against the idea of even painting his nails once. But now that he's out and more comfortable he wouldn't really be opposed to doing it again sometime in the future. Maybe a dark blue could be cool.

"That's fine, your still a badass without it." David's voice is halfway between mocking and serious. It makes Matteo grin. 

"Oh well that's a relief." Matteo shoots back, matching the tone. 

They talk for what seems like forever, and about nearly everything. David tells Matteo about his classes at film school, the many eccentric students that go there, and his favorite teachers. He's more tight lipped about the short film he's currently working on, but Matteo manages to weedle out a few key words. Aliens, and flying body parts. 

"Look who's the eccentric film student now." Matteo teases. David just rolls his eyes. 

Matteo tells David about work. About how even though it's only sandwiches, it helped him realise that he wants to cook for a living. That he really loves food and feeding people. Jokes that its an Italian thing. Matteo explains that his gap year turned into a little more than just a year, but he's finally planning on taking some classes at the University. He wants some more formal training than a sandwich shop can offer.

"I'd love to try your cooking someday." David says with a shy smile. The wording of it makes Matteo pause. Someday. The promise of some kind of future interactions. It makes Matteo smile too.

"Maybe if your lucky." The words are meant to be coy, teasing, but they come out soft.

Matteo and David talk till long after their first set of coffees are gone. About movies and music and the idea of fate versus choice. Other customers come and go around them, nothing but background noise. They each get a refill, caffeine jitters be damned, but when those too are finished they know it's about time to go. When the pair finally get up to leave Matteo can't help but feel a little disappointed. Everythings so simple with David. Even talking, something Matteo doesn't do often or at length, is easy with him. He doesn't want it to end so soon.

The two linger outside the coffee shop, neither wanting to be the first to take a step away from each other. Matteo looks up at David through his overgrown fringe and quirks a smile. 

"Would you let me walk you home again?" David asks. Warmth blooms in Matteo's chest at the question. He nods and inclines his head for David to follow. 

They skip the bus entirely, content instead to walk the whole way home. It gives them more time together, even though the walk is spent mostly in comfortable silence with random comments thrown in between.

David is laughing at a stupid joke Matteo made when they reach the apartment. Matteo is almost too distracted by the beautiful sight of David's bright eyes and pink gums to notice it's his stop. They both come to a slow halt in front of the building, David's giggles quieting. 

"I had a really good time today." David breathes, insane eyelashes fanning equally insane cheekbones.

"I did too." Matteo admits quietly. He's unable to stop staring, completely entranced. 

"We should hang out again sometime. If you want." David says, like Matteo could want anything besides that. 

Matteo has a crazing urge to invite David up into his apartment. But as much as he doesn't want to say goodbye, he knows he's not ready for that yet. Instead he takes a step forward, not thinking about Felix or his past. Not thinking about anything but David in this moment. Because Lisa is right, he deserves the chance to be happy.

Matteo's hand goes to the back of David's neck, fingers brushing the short hairs at the base of his skull. He pauses a moment, giving David an out. But David's eyes only flutter closed as he shuffles forward a bit as well. The toes of their sneakers knock together and Matteo takes one more breath before pulling David in. 

The kiss is chased. Just a dry drag of lips. But it sparks a fire in Matteo's chest that burns down through to his fingertips. They kiss once, twice, three times. He pulls away again, fingernails scratching softly at David's hair before letting go. Matteo takes a step back, stuffing his hands into his jacket pocket to keep him from reaching out again. Davids eyes open slowly, the look in them intense when they meet Matteo's. Beautiful splotches of red are high on his cheeks that makes Matteo want to brush his lips there too.

"We should definitely do this again." Matteo finally agrees with a jerky nod. He turns away to start for his apartment, grin threatening to split his face in two.

* * *

They do go out again, just as promised. Movie dates and lunch dates and exploring abandoned building dates. They kiss and text and tease each other endlessly. Matteo is falling hard and fast. Its as terrifying as it is exhilarating.

Its after the third date when Matteo finally feels secure enough to tell Jonas. He's not even mad to be kept in the dark for so long, only grins and demands to see a photo of David. Matteo shows him one of the many pictures he has saved on his phone and laughs at the approving comments Jonas makes. The other boys are less lenient about the secret keeping when he eventually tells them too. Abdi squacks indignantly while Carlos demands to meet David, and soon. They're both placated when Matteo begrudgingly agrees. 

It's a few dates after that before Matteo actually brings up the proposed meeting, not wanting to scare David off so soon. Matteo is sure to tell David over and over again that he doesn't have to come if he doesn't want to. That he's more than ok with cancelling in favor of hanging out just the two of them together. But David just laughs and shakes his head, insisting that its fine, that he'd love to meet Matteo's friends. Matteo just grumbled under his breath that David doesn't understand what he's getting himself into, but is quieted quickly by a kiss.

They plan the get together for a week later and at a neutral location. Matteo shows up at the dive bar with David in toe. It's small and a little run down but has cheap beer, exactly what a bunch of college aged boys need. The gang has already claimed a round high top table when Matteo and David arrive. Jonas motions to them when they enter. Matteo shoots David one more look that says 'I'm sorry' and 'I warned you' all in one before pressing on towards the table.

"Luigi!" Jonas shouts, clapping Matteo on the back. Carlos raises his beer in greeting and Abdi just stares with a huge grin on his face. 

"Hey man. David these are my friends. Friends this is my…" Matteo starts with the introduction and then pauses awkwardly, the word 'boyfriend' wanting to escape. They haven't talked at all about labels or relationship statuses yet. Matteo was more than happy to let all that come in time, but now has no idea how to address David properly.

"My….David…" Matteo finally gets out, silently cursing himself. David simply chuckles and squeezes Matteo's shoulder comfortingly, eyes and smile fond. 

"Hello. I'm Matteo's David. And you must be Matteo's Jonas, Abdi and Carlos." David teases while still managing to point the three out correctly. 

"I was so right about him checking you out. Someone tell me how right I was. God I should set up a matchmaking agency or something." Abdi blows past the introduction completely, far too pleased with himself. Matteo just rolls his eyes and announces that he's getting himself a beer. David grins and makes himself comfortable at the table.

Matteo comes back to the group shortly after with two beers in hand. The boys are chatting animatedly while David looks both amused and slightly pained. Matteo knows his friends far too well, so he understands the feeling. 

He puts one of the beers down in front of David and claims the seat next to him. David presses a quick kiss to his cheek in thanks, still listening to whatever tall tale Carlos and Abdi are spinning. Jonas gives Matteo this look, pleased and proud and mushy. Matteo just sticks his tongue out at him. And if his cheeks go a little red then the warmth in the bar is to blame. 

"And that's how I learned you can't put a fork in the microwave." Matteo hears Abdi say when he finally tunes back into the conversation.

"Yeah, and in my fucking microwave! You almost burned down my apartment man." Carlos shouts indignantly.

"How can you live that long and not know metal sparks?" Jonas asks.

"I mean, It woulda been an improvement at that point man. You gotta admit, that place was a dump for a while." Abdi shrugs, completely bypassing Jonas's comment. His words only sends Carlos into more of a tailspin. Jonas just drinks his beer and watches as the two schwalbe, knowing any of his own input would just be ignored at this point.

"Are they always like this or?" David whispers, leaning into Matteo. Matteo huffs a laugh and shakes his head in fond exasperation. It's not like he didn't warn him, though he supposes hearing about the chaos and witnessing it first hand are two different things entirely.

They talk and drink and laugh for a while. On several occasions Matteo has to hide his face in David's shoulder in sheer embarrassment. But it's nice. And natural. It feels like David has always been there, he fits in so effortlessly. Though Matteo thinks David encourages his friends idiocy a little too much. 

David checks his phone a few hours later and frowns slightly.

"Im sorry guys but I've gotta head out, I promised my sister we'd start our Buffy rewatch tonight." David says, sounding genuinely apologetic. Matteo smiles at the mention of the Vampire Slayer, thinking back on their first conversation together. 

"I'll walk you home." Matteo offers, already standing from his seat.

"No you don't Mr.Florenzi!" Abdi shout, causing Matteo to pause and frown. "You've got to buy me my next round of drinks!"

"What for?" Matteo drawls. He thinks Abdi has had enough alcohol at this point as it is. Thank god it's Friday at least. 

"As a thank you for setting you two up!" Abdi says like it's obvious. Carlos snorts into his own glass.

Before Matteo can argue David nudges him in the side to capture his attention. Matteo turns to look at him and the frown instantly slides off his face. It's hard to look upset when David is smiling so softly. God he's already so whipped. 

"You should stay, if you want." David says. "We can talk tomorrow." 

Matteo is tempted to say fuck it and walk David home anyway. But Jonas clears his throat and sends him a pointed look. He's sure to want to talk more about David now that they've actually met and he has had time to form an opinion. It's either have the conversation now or put it off till everyones a little more sober. Matteo sighs. Might as well get it over with now. 

"Yeah ok." Matteo relents. David presses a quick kiss into the corner of his mouth. The casual affection makes Matteo feel all warm and fuzzy. "Talk to you tomorrow." 

David says another quick goodbye before heading out. Matteo plops back into his seat and rolls his eyes at all the expectant looks he immediately receives. He'll have this conversation, but he won't be the one to start it.

"You guys should get married." Abdi finally declares when it's obvious Matteo has nothing to say.

"The vibes are strong." Carlos agrees with a serious nod. 

Matteo just snorts. Though he's secretly pleased they all like David so much. He can't imagine someone not liking David, but still. Jonas watches him for another minute, looking like he's contemplating something.

"And how do you feel about it dude?" Jonas asks. Reserving his own judgment until he has the information that really matters. Matteo thinks for a moment before answering.

"Good. I feel...good." Matteo settles on. It's an understatement, but he doesn't really have the words to describe how David makes him feel. Understood, maybe. And a little like he understands himself better now too. But good is definitely a start. Jonas grins, and Matteo knows he gets it.

* * *

It's two nights later when David and Matteo can hang out again. Hans is out partying and is sure to crash at one of his many gentlemen callers flats tonight, while Linn is away visiting her family for the week. So Matteo claims the living room for his own. The couch is a nest of blankets and pillows and there's a bowl of freshly popped popcorn waiting for them on the coffee table thanks to Hans' snack stash. 

When Matteo lets David into the apartment he simply holds up the Twilight box set and mouths 'vampires'. It earns him a withering look, but fuck it, David promised to let Matteo pick the movie. It's his own fault. Plus, he can't claim to be a vampire without seeing the classics. Matteo will have to thank Linn for the movie selection when she returns.

David citiques the entire first movie while Matteo laughs till his sides hurt. The running commentary ranges from complaints about the blue filter to yelling wildly at the characters dumb decision making. The baseball scene is the only thing that gets off scot free. When the credits roll Matteo is grinning wildly while David pulls a face that looks like a mixture between horrified and constipated.

"Oh come on you loved it." Matteo teases, poking David in the side.

"He watched her sleep! And she was cool with it!" David shouts back. Not a true denial. He stands up to pop the second cd in, so the opposite if a denial really. Matteo raises his eyebrows in challenge when David returns to the couch. 

"Shut up. I need to know how it all ends. No input from the peanut gallery." David huffs. Matteo snorts and mimes locking his mouth and throwing away the key. 

They're in the middle of New Moon when Matteo's eyes start getting heavy. He's curled up by Davids side, head resting on his shoulder and eyes half lidded. He's warm and full and content. The movie becomes background noise as his eyes fall shut. He's on the edges of sleep when he hears the movie stop. Matteo's eyes flutter open to see it paused on a scene of a shirtless Jacob. He's about to open his mouth to make a joke about it when he notices how tense David feels. Matteo frowns, confused. He sits up completely and turns to look at David. The other boy is staring down at his own hands, face serious looking.

"Hey are you ok?" Matteo asks quietly. David breathes out a long sigh.

"I need to tell you something. I promised myself I'd tell you today. Kept waiting for the right time." David mutters, sounding hollow. It scares Matteo a little, but he forces himself not to panic.

"Now could be the right time, if you want it to be. What is it?" Matteo asks. A long silence follows. Long enough for the tv screen to go black. But Matteo doesn't push. He knows more than most that finding your words can take time. 

"I don't know where to start." David finally says. The light from the lamp casts shadows across the planes of his face. Matteo nods slowly.

"That's ok. It doesn't have to be perfect or practiced." Matteo says. It's an echo of something Lisa once said to him. Another silence. 

"I'm transgender. Im a. A trans man." David finally blurts out. Matteo blinks. David looks tense enough that he just might turn to stone. Another beat. This one shorter than the last two.

"Oh ok, thank you for feeling comfortable enough to tell me." Matteo says when the words finally settle in and take shape in his mind. 

"What." David says blankly, not really a question. His eyes finally snap away from his clenched fists, meeting Matteo's. His body seems to deflate with shock. Matteo just smiles and gives a little shrug. 

It's not like he's not a little surprised, it certainly wasn't what Matteo was expecting him to say. But Matteo had done some research into his community after coming out, mostly under threat of Hans. The news might have been more shocking to him a year ago, but he's not that same boy anymore. He's worked on overcoming his own prejudices. And all he knows is he likes David, alot. This doesn't change anything. 

"Can I ask you a question?" Matteo asks. David tenses a little again, and nods. "Would you be my boyfriend?" 

The shock this time is two fold. But the expression slowly shifts into a small grin. The change in his posture is obvious, tension and fear gone.

"Your boyfriend?" David asks slowly. The response would make Matteo nervous if it wasn't for the smile on his face.

"Yes, my boyfriend. You're familiar with the concept of dating are you not?" Matteo huffs, rolling his eyes. He's not going to ask again, the asshole.

"It sort of seems to me that we've already kind of been doing that don't you think?" David teases, making a vague jester to the blanket nest and the tv and everything that was this cozy night in. It makes Matteo smile too. He still pushes David's shoulder playfully, trying to mask the delight. 

"Yeah well we never really worked out the labels." Matteo shoots back. David's grin grows like he too is thinking about Matteo's failed introduction. 'My David'. God. Matteo wants to stick out his tongue like an upset child, so he does. David just laughs.

"Yes." David breathes, voice soft fond. "Yes I'd love to be your boyfriend."

The relief and joy that washes over Matteo at those words is palpable. Instead of sticking out his tongue this time, he launches himself at David, intent to stick it into the other boys mouth. David gives a surprised laugh and catches Matteo around the middle, pulling him close for the kiss.

They stay like that on the couch for a long while. Matteo half on top of David, trading lazy kisses, shy hands exploring each other over the layers of clothing. It's perfect and sweet and tender. Matteo pulls back slightly to look at David, his boyfriend, eyes tracing every inch of his beautiful face. 

"Do you...want to spend the night?" Matteo breathes. He doesn't want to sound desperate. But the man of his dreams just agreed to be his. And the last sexual experience was with someone he'd much rather forget. So maybe he is a little desperate. Not that he'd try to pressure David into doing anything he's not comfortable with. They could sleep in the same bed all curled up together and Matteo would be just as happy. He's more than willing to take it slow if that's what David wants.

But David's bright eyes go a little dark, pupils blown wide, and pulls Matteo in for another kiss. This one is a little less innocent, a little more sloppy, but is still so so good.

They stumble towards Matteo's bedroom, intent on not breaking the kiss. Giggling when they trip into the doorway. The excitement and bravado sours only slightly with nervousness when they finally make it to the bed. Matteo says as much, mumbles it into the crook of David's neck. David pulls back slightly, which isn't actually what Matteo wants at all. He hooks his fingers into the hem of David's shirt to keep him from going too far.

"We don't have to do anything. You know that right?" David asks, voice quiet but firm.

"I want to. I really want to, it's just. It's been a while is all." Matteo assures. David smiles softly at him from above. One of his warm hands comes to cup Matteo's cheek. Matteo nuzzles into it, kisses his palm because he wants too, because it feels right. 

"I'll take care of you." David whispers, a promise, before ducking down for another kiss.

David's mouth is searing hot. He takes the kiss slow. Licking into Matteo, tasting, savoring. It leaves Matteo lightheaded. Nerve endings tingling in the most beautiful way. David is really good at this, of course he is. He's good at everything. Matteo tries to give as good as he gets, sucking on David's bottom lip. There's still a hint of butter from the popcorn. 

David's hand makes an easy slide from Matteo's cheek to the side of his neck. Matteo's sure David can feel his rabbit quick heartbeat through the skin. The hand doesn't stay long though, moving down Matteo's flank and resting at the edge of his shirt. Two fingers slide under the cotton, press into his abdomen slightly. The muscle jumps at the contact. 

"Is this ok?" David asks pulling away enough to look into Matteo's eyes. Matteo can barely find his voice, so he just hums and nods in affirmation. David takes that as the permission that it is and grabs the end of Matteo's shirt, pulling it up and over. The material catches on his ear on the way off. The two giggle as Matteo grabs it himself and chucks the shirt across the room like the garment has offended him. But the giggles immediately die out when David's hands return, splaying his palms out on all the newly exposed skin.

It's like David's trying to map out Matteo's body. Hands gliding over his soft stomach, the expanse of his ribcage. And then there are thumbs brushing over his pink nipples and Matteo has to surge up and kiss David to muffle the half choke that is ripped from his throat. The kiss is wild, with teeth and tongues and maybe a little too much spit, but it's exactly what Matteo needs. David continues to touch, and Matteo buries his fingers in David's thick hair. When they separate to breathe Matteo tentatively pulls at the edge of David's shirt. 

"You too?" Matteo asks quietly. He won't be offended if David says no, all Matteo wants is for him to feel comfortable. But David gives him one more peck on the lips before sitting back on his knees. In one swift motion the shirt is gone. And Matteo was right the first time he met him, David looks strong under his clothes. There's no six pack, but still planes of defined muscle, arms corded and shoulders wide. It's clear he exercises, more than Matteo does at least.

Matteo needs to touch, just like David did. So he sits up as well, hands making the same path from stomach to sides to chest. His fingers brush the thin pink scars under his nipples. And then, without thinking, he leans in and presses a feather light kiss to each of the top surgery scars. David stills under the soft touch, and Matteo pulls back, afraid for a moment that he messed up and did something he shouldn't have. But David's face is open and awed, and the fear melts away again. 

David cups Matteo's face and kisses him with an aching tenderness before pushing him to lay back down. He covers Matteo's body with his own, skin to skin. Matteo winds his arms around David's shoulders and sighs happily into the kiss. He feels so content already, the sensation seeping into his bones in a way that it's never done before. He feels light as air, the press of David's body is the only thing keeping him from floating away completely. 

"I want to blow you. Can I blow you?" David says with a playful nip on Matteo's bottom lip. And Matteo's brain goes completely off line for a split second.

"Uh- yes! I mean. Yeah, yes you can." Matteo stutters like a blushing virgin, actual blush included. 

"Condom?" David asks, deft fingers already popping the button to Matteo's jeans open. 

Matteo stretches to root around in his bedside table for a moment. He produces the shiny square packet with a triumphant noise. David plucks the condom from Matteo's grasp. Tortuously slowly he begins to kiss down Matteo's chest to his stomach. The wet glide of lips on skin makes Matteo tense in the best possible way, already half hard in his jeans. When David pulls at the waist of Matteo's pants he lifts his hips to help get them off. And then he's left in only his spongebob boxers. David chuckles when he sees the bright yellow garment, and Matteo groans in embarrassment. He should have thought to wear a better pair. But to be fair this isn't how he expected their night to end. 

"God, don't say anything please." Matteo begs, hands going to cover his red face. 

"I think it's cute." David says before kissing the cartoon covered material right on Matteo's bulge. Matteo gasps before smothering the noise with his hand. 

"No don't," David chides, pulling Matteo's hand away. "I want to hear you."

The command rips another startled groan from Matteo that just serves to make David grin. Damn him, the sexy bastard.

He presses a few more deliciously teasing open mouth kisses there, before pulling the boxers down to Matteo's thighs. Matteo feels exposed and a little shy till he sees the look on David's face. So much open hunger. Its heady. 

David's warm hand wraps around Matteo's half hard length, gives it a few experimental tugs before swiping at the head with his thumb. Matteo can do nothing but clutch at the bedspread and groan helplessly, eyes squeezed tightly shut. The slight calluses on David's fingertips feel amazing on the silken skin. Just the perfect amount of rough. David twists his hand in a sinful motion and Matteo jerks up to claim his mouth in a wet biting kiss. 

Breaking the kiss David rips open the silver package with his teeth and expertly rolls the condom onto Matteo's already leaking dick. He presses another hard kiss to Matteo's lips before kissing his way down, till he's nestled between Matteo's spread legs again. Matteo peaks down and stutters out a broken moan at the sight of David. If just seeing David near his prick is this overwhelming Matteo's not sure how he'll survive when it's actually in his mouth.

"You can pull on my hair, but try and keep your hips still for me ok?" David asks, looking up at Matteo from under his eyelashes. Matteo just nods dumbly and David gives one last kiss to his abdomen before going in. 

David takes him in slowly. Lips curled around his teeth, tongue pressed under the head. Inch by inch Matteo disappears into that blinding wet heat. It takes all of his strength to keep still, biting down hard on his bottom lip and hand instantly burrowing into David's thick hair. When he bumps David's soft palate his head whips back into the pillows, pathetic whine falling from his lips.

"Oh god oh god oh David fuck." Matteo babbles as David swallows around the length. David pulls off with a pop and Matteo lets out a soft sob at the loss.

"Yeah, fuck, baby keep talking." David orders, voice strained, before going back in. He takes Matteo in faster this time, and Matteo shouts when the head of his cock bumps the back of David's throat. 

Matteo's good at doing what he's told when he has the right incentive. He pulls at David's hair and keeps his hips still and doesn't try to stop the words from tumbling out. Even if they're mostly just different combinations of David's name, God, and some very colorful swears. David seems appreciative, if the delicious hum is anything to go by. 

Matteo doesn't last long. The sensation builds in the pit of his stomach, makes his toes curl. He pulls sharply at David's hair in warning, but David just redoubles his efforts. He sucks and licks and jerks off the base of Matteo's dick with his wonderful hands. And then Matteo is cumming into the condom with a cry. David gives a few more soft sucks and Matteo whines from the oversensitivity. When David finally pulls off he removes the condom and ties it off before throwing it into the trash can at the side of the bed. He pulls Matteo's boxers back up with a snap and moves to press a sweet kiss to Matteo's slack mouth. 

"That was fun." David says with a shit eating grin on his face, voice raw and beautiful. Matteo can already feel all his limbs turning to satisfied jelly, but he presses several more kisses to David's already abused lips. 

"Your turn. I wanna make you feel good." Matteo mumbles between kisses, winding his arms around David's neck to keep him there. 

"You don't have to if you don't want to." David reassures. Like there could be a world where that isn't exactly what Matteo wants.

"I do, I want to. My hands, my mouth, whatever you want. Just wanna make you feel good too." Matteo repeats.

"God, ok, one second." David groans and shuffles out of Matteo's grasp. Matteo lets him go, waiting patiently while David situates himself so he's laying next to Matteo. He pulls Matteo to lay on his side, chest pressed up against David's arm and pelvis resting snugly on his hip. With a shaky breath David grabs Matteo's right hand and guides it down under the waistband of his sweatpants. 

Matteo's fingers brush past coarse hair to where David is warm and wet. Matteo lets David show him how to make him feel good. Rubbing and pressing just right to hear David's breath hitch. He sucks lazy kisses into the exposed column of Davids neck and speeds up the tight circles of his fingertips.Watches bruises bloom under his mouth.

David is quieter than Matteo. Stuttering breath and the soft bucking of his hips are the only things giving him away. But soon David's whole body tenses, breath stilling completely. And he's cumming too, pressed up against the heel of Matteo's hand. Matteo kisses his neck, the side of his face, giving one more hard rub before David is huffing out a breath and pulling their hands from his pants.

"That was fun." Matteo agrees teasingly and David snorts. 

The two get comfortable under the covers, bedside lamp getting clicked off. Matteo rests his head on David's chest, an arm and a leg flung over his body like a clingy octopus. He lets out a long, satisfied breath. He feels at home in his own skin, tender and taken care off. It's a feeling he's not entirely used to, but loves just the same. That warmth, that love, bleeds out from his heart and into every limb. He rubs his face onto Davids skin like an affectionate cat. 

"We're gonna have to watch New Moon all over again." Matteo states. David scoffs, fingers playing with the ends of Matteo's shaggy hair.

"Yeah well, that will have to wait. I'm picking the movie next time." David shoots back. Next time. Because their boyfriends, because this is real, despite all the odds. 

"Yeah alright Edward Cullen." Matteo says around a yawn. He grins into David's skin at the sound of his soft laughter. It might be Matteo's favorite sound in the whole world, as cheesy as that is. 

"I don't want you to think this is the orgasm talking." Matteo starts, voice sleep heavy and sluggish. "And this might be like, way too early or something. But I've been working with my therapist on being able to talk about how I feel. And well, I love you. That's how I feel."

David's hand stills in Matteo's hair, his breath hitching.

"You don't have to say it back, I just. Wanted you to know." Matteo says, staring into the dark. And it's true. It's ok if David doesn't feel the same yet. Matteo's just glad he can say it. That he can feel it. That his past experiences haven't taken that away from him for good. 

David kisses the top of Matteo's head. The words are whispered into his hair. An irreverent, "I love you too,". 

Matteo's smile could probably power a city with how wide and bright it is.

"I should send Abdi a fruit basket or something." Matteo muses tiredly, eyes slipping shut. He falls asleep to the quiet sound of David's giggle, smile still lingering on his lips. He dreams of brown eyes and skin. And when he wakes up, the boy of his dreams is still in his bed, beautiful as ever. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope yall enjoyed! Comments and Kudos are much appreciated <3


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